The Micro and The Macro.

Kristen McClure

Jun 17, 2021

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Newsletter Issue 8

June 8, 2021

A Newsletter for The Charlotte Social Worker and Therapist Facebook Group

RESEARCH BRIEFS

A new study identifies a novel biomarker indicating resilience to chronic stress. This biomarker is largely absent in people suffering from major depressive disorder, and this absence is further associated with pessimism in daily life, the study finds. Nature Communications published the research by scientists at Emory University.Around 16 to 20 percent of the U.S. population will meet the criteria for a major depressive disorder during their lifetimes. Experts are predicting rates of depression to climb even further in the wake of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. During the pandemic, about four in 10 adults in the United States have reported symptoms of anxiety or depressive disorder, up from one in 10 who reported them in 2019, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation.https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2021-06/ehs-ssa060921.php

A Guide to Gender Identity Terms

From NPR. I have trouble keeping up and this is just awesome. "Pronouns are basically how we identify ourselves apart from our name. It's how someone refers to you in conversation," says Mary Emily O'Hara, a communications officer at GLAAD. "And when you're speaking to people, it's a really simple way to affirm their identity."https://www.npr.org/2021/06/02/996319297/gender-identity-pronouns-expression-guide-lgbtq

This is another article from in consultation. What if a parent has questions about affirming their child’s gender? https://www.evernote.com/shard/s21/sh/df9c7f3e-23c1-2aa1-a567-d5d04d4996cd/7b22caa36de6f8ee60b1313f2458deb8

Check out this Instagram reel shared in Feminism for Breakfast and learn more about Intersex .” People who are intersex make up 2% of the U.S. population, similar to the number of redheads and people with green eyes, yet representation of intersex people is woefully lacking. In this Instagram Reel, Mari Wrobi of @genderfenderbender shares some super quick facts about people who are intersex in celebration of Pride Month.” (Instagram) https://www.instagram.com/reel/CPmjIzzpJ8i/

ADULT FRIENDSHIPS

are so confusing and their isn’t good research on how to work with clients about healthy ones. Love this article from Nir Eyals newsletter. “ Television and movies have long given us unrealistic expectations for romantic relationships. There are rarely any perfectly timed meet-cutes or mad dashes to the airport, and the chances of an ironic misunderstanding that lead you to the love of your life are slim to none. But less attention has been devoted to how television and movies shape our perception of friendships, too, in ways that don’t always reflect reality.” https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/22444501/friends-reunion-hbo-max-adult-friendships

ADDICTION

A new kind of treatment uses connection to treat addiction. “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety,” she says. “The opposite of addiction is genuine, meaningful interactions and authentic connections and experiences with ourselves, each other, and the world around us.”https://qz.com/1693268/a-new-kind-of-rehab-uses-human-connection-to-treat-addiction/

FREE WEBCAST

”Whether we are aware of it or not, insufficiently managed stress and ongoing secondary or vicarious trauma exposure (hearing and reading about traumatic events) can undermine our wellbeing and resilience. During this time of transitioning beyond the Covid-19 pandemic to whatever our post-pandemic life and the post-pandemic world will be, deepening and sustaining both our mindfulness and resilience is of critical importance.

One of the most helpful ways to optimize our ability to effectively navigate this transition and respond to our challenges with wisdom, compassion, courage and skillfulness is to practice some form of mindful self-regulation and consistently engage in activities that enhance our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual resilience.

Traumatic distress potentially leads to cognitive rigidity and fear and survival-based reactivity. Mindful self-regulation and resilience enhancing practices improve cognitive functioning and flexibility while also enhancing emotion regulation and our capacity to meet our challenges in a more relational, responsive and compassionate manner.

By stabilizing a deeply embodied presence and awareness through meditative disciplines, we gain access to the physiological, emotional, and social information we need to compassionately self-regulate and skillfully interact with others. We act and communicate from a place of empathy and non-reactivity.

The deeply embodied approach of Neuro-Somatic Mindfulness (NSM)® is designed to do just that. The practice of mindful deep embodiment enables you to relax into and cultivate an internal coherence within your neurobiological systems that enhances both healing and resilience and allows you to co-regulate with and create safety, connection and resonance with others.

During these incredibly challenging times reservoirs of resilience and the felt experience of emotional and relational competency are keys to not only surviving but thriving in the face of adversity.

Over the last 40+ years of teaching meditation, Dr. Fleet Maull has been developing a revolutionary, neuroscience-based, trauma-informed and deeply embodied approach to mindfulness-awareness meditation that potentially offers an evolutionary breakthrough in our capacity for neurobiological self-regulation through enhanced interoceptive awareness and a cultivated internal neuro-biofeedback capacity, allowing you to better meet life's challenges with courage, resilience, wisdom and compassion.”

We invite you to explore Neuro-Somatic Mindfulness (NSM)® in this free Webcast, Wednesday June 23rd at 2 pm Eastern Time (US).

Racial Socialization as Resistance to Racism, the Early Years

Tuesday, June 22, 2021 @ 8:30 pm ET

When families work to help their children understand race and racism, they are engaging in a process known as racial socialization. To understand how racial socialization can be used as a tool for anti-racism, there is much to learn from families who have been racially marginalized and the lessons they have taught their children.

Join us for a conversation in which we explore racial socialization as a vital form of parent and caregiver involvement and discuss strategies that resist and disrupt racism when socializing young children, ages 0 to 8. We’ll be speaking with Dalhia Lloyd, program specialist in family and community at the Buffett Early Child Institute. We’re also joined by two parents of young children, Keeley Bibins and Ben Heath, about their approaches to helping little ones understand race and racism and be actively anti-racist.

Register to join thisTalking Race & Kids conversation. We welcome any questions and comments you have to share as you do.

As with all Talking Race & Kids webinars, registration is free. Once you register, you’ll receive a link to the recording, the transcript, and relevant resources in the days following the live event. Spread the word! Forward this email or share our post about this conversation on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

WHY OUR EMPATHY MATTERS

Love Lesson of the Day

by Elizabeth Earnshaw

Last weekend, I took a solo trip with my 3 year old son from Pennsylvania to Texas. And my airport woes brought to light the power of human co-regulation and dysregulation and how much we influence each other's emotional temperature depending on whether we turn towards, away, or against another person.

Airports are inherently stressful. There are a lot of people, long lines, and deadlines. Not to add on the cacophony of things that can cause someone's anxiety to spike - fear of flying, fear of germs, difficulties in crowds.

Because of this, airports are the very place where we need people to respond well to signals of distress & yet they illustrate so well the type of escalation that occurs when instead of co regulating with each other we dysregulate with each other instead.

After boarding our plane, we all waited patiently as the clock ticked by without any movement...only to learn that the plane had not been fueled properly and we would all miss our connections.

One of the passengers was particularly upset and the flight attendant walked over to him. He was an expert at responding to stress. He listened. He empathized. He kept his voice calm. He showed that he was willing to help. He apologized.

And as he did this, the passenger calmed down too.

As we all exited the plane, the majority of the passengers were calm, kind, and polite. In fact, most of the people on our plane were doing a great job co-regulating with each other. They were making jokes, commiserating, offering advice and support. There were smiles.

And then, without any direction or apology the herd of us were directed towards a destination that was supposed to offer The Answer. Go to customer support, the gate attendant said, they will help you all there.

At this point, an entire plane of people had missed their connecting flights. One trying to get to Olympic try-outs. Another visiting their mom for the first time in a year. And a third was an ER nurse who had just worked through a Pandemic and 5 shifts straight - ready to go celebrate her Birthday with friends.

As we approached customer service, we could see that help, in fact, was not on the way because help was about an hour away. In front of us were 100 people trying to get the same type of help.

Again, the folks headed to Charlotte were an emotionally intelligent bunch. Even under immense pressure and fluorescent lights, they were joking and smiling with each other.

We waited and we waited. And the line never moved. And then my son said it "I need to pee!" At that moment, I had to make a choice - do I lose my spot in line so he can use the bathroom or do I risk an accident? Of course, I lost my space in line. He had an accident anyway.

I tried to call The Airline but their phone wait was 4 hours long.

Slowly, The Airline was starting to feel like The Enemy.

No apologies. No direction. No empathy. Help was not coming from them.

I walked up to the gate again and asked if I could just re-board the plane and roll the dice to try and get connection in Charlotte once we landed. I received a smile.

And with that, co-regulation. They Airline no longer felt like The Enemy.

"Yes, I will call while you're on the plane and get you set on a new flight. As soon as you get off, ask the person at the gate to let you know the details".

Help was here!

We boarded and waited another 45 minutes or so for take off. When we landed, I did just as I was told and nicely asked the person at the gate for information about my next flight.

"I don't know what you're talking about, go to gate B7."

I looked down the hall and realized Gate B7 was about 35 minutes away. My son was sleepy so I picked him and our knapsacks up and we walked as instructed. I could feel myself getting frustrated. Being dismissed when you need help can do that to a person's nervous system.

I took deep breaths. I regulated. I walked up to B7 with the rest of the PHL-CLT crew. And, we were again immediately dismissed. "I can't help you. I have another project. I don't know why you were sent here."

This is when the PHL-CLT crew started to become a little more upset. No apologies. No empathy. No smiles. Help is not coming. The Airline is The Enemy.

We were directed to another line with an approximate hour long wait. So we waited. and waited. and no one ever moved forward.

I gave up. That's one thing that can happen when people don't co-regulate with you during stress. You kind of freeze and play dead. I left line and ate Soup of The Day at The Airport Diner. My son did not eat Soup of The Day. Soup of the Day was "'scusting" according to him.

But The Waitress at The Airport Diner smiled. She told me about her daughter who is the same age as my son. She even showed me a picture. I felt regulated again.

My husband messaged me that he was able to get me on a connecting flight but that The Airline was asking me to go check in immediately at a desk. I could feel myself regulate even more. My heart slowed. I felt calm. Help was coming.

My son & I set off to find a gate attendant. We walked and walked, passing empty gate after empty gate. And then finally, we found The One. "Yes! This is it! She can check me in!". I walked up to The One with my son on one hip, a smile on my face, and two knapsacks tumbling off my shoulder and said "Hi! I was told to find you and check in!". I was met with a similar type of dismissiveness I had come to experience throughout the day "So what? I don't know where you're going. How am I supposed to help you. Go find your gate." I took a deep breath and explained I had no gate but was instructed to find a gate attendant. "Let me see what you're talking about". Okay, good I am being helped. I felt a bit relieved.

"Where are you going...Austin?" The One said. I assumed she must have been able to guess correctly because she had heard of the trials and tribulations of the PHL-CLT flight. "How'd you know?" I said in the type of tone that means we both know about the same wild issue. Except, she didn't bite onto my playfulness. "Because I saw your ticket. Okay. Well I can't help you. Check in at your gate when you find it at exactly 2:00. Over an hour from now."

Okay...so I did just that. I stood in line at my gate until 2:00. Then it became 2:10. Then the gate opened. But, then it closed. I wasn't even given a glance or hello. Neither were the other people in line. Upon return, we were told to just down and wait.

At this point, my son had had enough. I realized all day he was working through the constant barrage or "turning away" we experienced too. He screamed "THIS IS POOPY!!!!!"

At this point, people were yelling, a few were drunk, other's looked a bit despondent.

No one was happy.

This is what happens when humans are stressed and are met with no empathy, no help, no direction, and/or no apologies. Some find their nervous system responds with fight (yelling, name calling, etc), while others respond with flight (constantly trying to fix the situation, looking up other tickets, going to every gate attendant), and some they just freeze (leaving the airport or just slumping down in a chair).

Now, I can only attest to what happened on The Passenger end of the fiasco. I know that for The Employees of The Airline to be so dismissive does not reflect entirely on who they are as people - rather the way people in their environment are responding to their endless stress, too.

No wonder they dismissed my needs for help. It was clear help wasn't coming for them.

They stood, alone, at the heads of lines 100 people deep with nothing to offer them. Likely with no support, no direction, no empathy, and no apologies from The Airline.

That day in the airport was an important reminder to me. People don't respond well when they are stressed and dismissed. People do respond well when they are stressed and offered support, direction, empathy, or an apology.

While I can't overhaul The Airline, what I hope I can do is remind you of how powerful your smile can be, how much your empathy matters, and how truly offering apology and direction when it's due can relieve stress and remind people - "help is here."

WOMEN

“On Tuesday, June 8, members of Congress reintroduced the Women’s Health Protection Act(WHPA)—federal legislation that would codify Roe v. Wadein law and establish the legal right to abortion in all 50 states under federal law. The WHPA guarantees a pregnant woman’s right to access an abortion and protects the right of abortion providers to deliver these services free from medically unnecessary restrictions that interfere with a patient’s individual choice or the provider-patient relationship.” https://msmagazine.com/2021/06/09/womens-health-protection-act-reintroduced-congress-abortion-law/

Learn about atypical anorexia in this fascinating article. Can you have an eating disorder and not be underweight? https://medium.com/fearless-she-wrote/yes-atypical-anorexia-is-a-thing-496c436167a2

RACISM

White people love getting married on plantations. Where some people see a place to exchange vows, all I see is the enslavement of my ancestors. Do they not know the history, or do they simply not care? https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/clintsmith/married-weddings-on-plantations

White privelege ’ “But almost immediately parents of other students near the top of the rankings raised questions about who should have been honored. Within days, and breaking with longstanding tradition, West Point High School decided to name two valedictorians and two salutatorians — with two white students, Emma Berry and Dominic Borgioli, joining the Black students who had already been named.” https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/11/us/west-point-high-school-valedictorian.html

Black professors push a major university to diversify and confront racism Racism is alive and well in hiring practices of colleges https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/2021/06/16/penn-state-black-faculty-racism/

Social Work Organizing

Two very interesting articles about ACT UP and Protest movements

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/jun/08/act-up-protest-movements-us-direct-action

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/06/14/how-act-up-changed-america

Mindfulness in The Therapy Office

Want to incorporate mindfulness into your practice but not sure how? https://mindfulnessexercises.com/7-ways-to-use-mindfulness-as-a-therapist/?utm_source=ActiveCampaign&utm_medium=email&utm_content=5+Mindful+Musings++-+June+16%2C+2021&utm_campaign=5+Mindful+Musings+-+June+16%2C+2021